Friday, October 24, 2008

San Diego, Baby!

October 24, 2008

Just wanted to post a short update as to what is going on in my world! We are at the end of the cruise (literally, it is 11:15 p.m. here) and we will be in San Diego to drop these passengers off in 7 hours! Honestly, the passengers weren’t that bad. I really had a great time with lots of them at all of the activities I hosted and I had several approach me to say that I was, well, amazing ;) hehe…no, just that they had a great time and I shouldn’t be with the kids anymore – and I agree :) We’re working on that!

Six sea days is exhausting, I must admit. For the first time today, we could see a faint outline of mountains which was encouraging and exciting. Last night, I was invited to dinner with a group of 10 of our passengers that always attended my events. It was lots of fun and I got to eat in the dining room and actually enjoy a good meal! (And something different from the SOS).

Tomorrow I have to stay on board (IPM) and we have one event staff disembarking and a brand new one embarking! It’s going to be a crazy day, especially since she’s new. I have one 4 year old girl this cruise and it is actually the Captain’s granddaughter, so I’m not sure if they’re going to use me or not. I wouldn’t mind a little bit, just hopefully not all the time with one little one- that’s more exhausting that 150 kids.

I think that pretty much sums it up for now – Sherwin’s promotion officially kicks in tomorrow. I think he’s more excited then he’s letting on, but you know how that goes. I think when he sees the first paycheck, it’ll hit him. We’ve had a couple parties this week because so many people are leaving – so we’re having fun and enjoying life!

I’ll post pictures when I can – we start out through Mexico and the Panama Canal. We had to have Yellow Fever shots today L But Woohoo for the itinerary! Whenever I get some time and free internet, I’ll be sure to post what I can. Fort Lauderdale in 14 days J

Funny Story from a Mom that’s traveled with Sherwin and I several times. She’s five years old and she sent me this email a couple days ago – she LOVES Sherwin J

“I have to tell you something Haley said out of the blue the other day. (I laughed so hard) She was sitting here playing and she asked me..."Mommy how old do I need to be to marry Sherwin?" I told her that she needs to be older than mommy is right now plus Sherwin would need to get permission from Sydney before she could do that. She just sat there for a little bit and then said...."When will he do that?" She still has her little crush I guess.”

San Diego, Baby!

Just wanted to post a short update as to what is going on in my world! We are at the end of the cruise (literally, it is 11:15 p.m. here) and we will be in San Diego to drop these passengers off in 7 hours! Honestly, the passengers weren’t that bad. I really had a great time with lots of them at all of the activities I hosted and I had several approach me to say that I was, well, amazing ;) hehe…no, just that they had a great time and I shouldn’t be with the kids anymore – and I agree :) We’re working on that!


Six sea days is exhausting, I must admit. For the first time today, we could see a faint outline of mountains which was encouraging and exciting. Last night, I was invited to dinner with a group of 10 of our passengers that always attended my events. It was lots of fun and I got to eat in the dining room and actually enjoy a good meal! (And something different from the SOS).


Tomorrow I have to stay on board (IPM) and we have one event staff disembarking and a brand new one embarking! It’s going to be a crazy day, especially since she’s new. I have one 4 year old girl this cruise and it is actually the Captain’s granddaughter, so I’m not sure if they’re going to use me or not. I wouldn’t mind a little bit, just hopefully not all the time with one little one- that’s more exhausting that 150 kids.


I think that pretty much sums it up for now – Sherwin’s promotion officially kicks in tomorrow. I think he’s more excited then he’s letting on, but you know how that goes. I think when he sees the first paycheck, it’ll hit him. We’ve had a couple parties this week because so many people are leaving – so we’re having fun and enjoying life!


I’ll post pictures when I can – we start out through Mexico and the Panama Canal. We had to have Yellow Fever shots today L But Woohoo for the itinerary! Whenever I get some time and free internet, I’ll be sure to post what I can. Fort Lauderdale in 14 days J

Funny Story from a Mom that’s traveled with Sherwin and I several times. She’s five years old and she sent me this email a couple days ago – she LOVES Sherwin J

“I have to tell you something Haley said out of the blue the other day. (I laughed so hard) She was sitting here playing and she asked me..."Mommy how old do I need to be to marry Sherwin?" I told her that she needs to be older than mommy is right now plus Sherwin would need to get permission from Sydney before she could do that. She just sat there for a little bit and then said...."When will he do that?" She still has her little crush I guess.”

Friday, October 17, 2008

Tahitian Treat!

Only one port to go and 8 sea days and we’re back in San Diego. As you can see in my last few entries, I’ve had an amazing time this trip. The sea days are long and rough and tons of work, but we’re getting by and doing alright.

Yesterday we were in Moorea in the Society Islands and it was another beautiful place. The waters were crystal clear – just not as civilized as Bora Bora or Papeete in Tahiti. It was yet another tender port, so there wasn’t much time for us to get off. I went ashore to look at some of the vendors and I’d wait for Sherwin over there. There was nothing ashore other than a hot dog stand and about 10 vendors with identical jewelry (shells and “black pearls”. I grabbed some imitation ones because I couldn’t tell what was real or fake and the ones marked “real” started at $33 and went up as high as $500. It’s one thing if they were in a store, but these were on a table and stuck through some cardboard squares. So, I bought a $7.00 imitation pair and a really pretty shell that is for your pareo- they had been extremely expensive everywhere else and I got it pretty cheap.

When Sherwin got off work, he met me on the pier and we got in a cab ($7) for each of us and it took us to a resort – which was really individual bungalows that people stayed in. Quite nice actually! I’m sure very expensive. We ate at the restaurant and each of us ordered a sandwich– we always get different sandwiches and split them so we ordered a fish sandwich and a burger with a sunny-side-up egg on it (I can see Mom’s face now). They were both delicious :) We got a drink too, but non-alcoholic, just a lot of the local fruit juices like pineapple, mango and something else mixed together. Very sweet, but good!

After eating, we only had about 20 minutes so we jumped in the water, which was extremely cold but crystal clear blue. The current was so strong, though, that it was pulling me! Just like all the other beaches, it was very rocky in the water so it hurt our feet. I guess I now understand the reason for water shoes.

The cab picked us up again at 1:00 and brought us back to the pier so we could catch the tender back. I just wanted to go swimming on the ship and he had to go back to work. It was perfect timing though – the minute we got back on the ship the Captain announced no more crew shore leave due to high winds. I ended up playing in the pool with the little 14 month old doctor’s son.

Another beautiful day, I’m sad we’re almost done with these ports. We will be in Nuka Hiva in 2 days, but I just read that there are limited beaches, but they have these no-see-ums type of bug called “nono” bugs and they leave huge welts and itch like no other – the locals say they are “fiercer than lions”. So I guess we won’t be going there :) Uh well – We’ll be in the Panama Canal and Caribbean until the end of our contracts- plenty of time for a tan!

Hope everyone is doing well! Send pictures and updates to me!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Beautiful Bora Bora!

Bon Jour!

I am currently sitting in the library staring out the window at Papeete, Tahiti. This is not part of the Society Islands that appears to be as tropical and exotic as Bora Bora! So, I’m not too upset that I can’t go ashore.

Last night we left Bora Bora at around 4:30 pm and I think I may have shed a tear or two (ok, maybe 10). I am in LOVE with it. Despite the fact that it is extremely expensive, it is absolutely amazing!

The first day in Bora Bora we had to do tendering so I did that until around 10:30. Then I headed over to the island with a friend of mine, Paul. We walked through the few shops that were open (it was a Sunday), just checking out the things that they have. I ended up buying a beautiful Paereo that I fell in love with (it’s purple, of course!). There was a dress that I liked (a bathing suit cover up/summer dress) and it was $50.00 (that’s in American Dollars). All of the prices were listed in Francs but they all took dollars too. Since it was Sunday, there were no restaurants open (not sure if there really were any – very laid back, casual, tropical place) so we found a burger shack of sorts. The only thing on the menu I could read (everything was listed in French and Tahitian) was Hamburger and Cheeseburger. I ordered a cheeseburger (which was delicious) and nothing else – no drink no fries – nothing. It was $10.00! After that, we walked through the flea market full of the shell jewelry and some of the handmade pareo’s – again, not many of the tables were open, but we just looked. I went back to the pier where the tenders were coming in and waited for Sherwin and some of the other boys before we all caught the bus (which was $5.00 each way) over to Matira Beach, which is the public beach about 6km away from the pier. It is the picturesque crystal clear Bora Bora blue water. We found our spot on the beach and dove into the water, which was extremely shallow. You could be a half mile out in the water and it’s not any higher than your waist.

All the boys had to head back to the ship around four, but I stayed and hung out with a few other people from the ship. We ended up going into the resort right behind the beach- the Intercontinental. This is the resort with the bungalows over the water with beautiful palm trees that you always see pictures of when you read about Bora Bora. They let us come back to the bar and hang out on the beach and use the Infinity pool overlooking the water and bungalows. The drinks were awfully expensive but worth every penny and everybody seemed to have bags of chips and tons of candy in their bags so we put it all out on the table and made ourselves sick with junk food! There were around 10 of us out at the hotel until about 7:30 when I had to leave and come back to reality (well, just to work for two hours), but we had the BEST time. It’s a memory I will definitely have forever because we laughed for hours while out there and took tons of pictures!

I worked for two hours (until 10:30) before I headed out the “Bora Bora Bow Party” for the crew. We had BBQ grills going with Hamburgers and Hot Dogs, we had a bar with tons of drinks and a DJ. We stayed out there and danced until about 1 in the morning – the breeze was beautiful, you could see all the lights in the city. The tenders stopped at 11:30 and didn’t resume until 7:00 am so we couldn’t stay ashore – but the party was well worth it. I had some unused glow sticks in my room, so I took them out and handed them to a bunch of people and that was a huge hit!

Our second day in Bora Bora was one “to write home about.” Paul and I, a friend of mine (gay and a cast member, no worries !) decided we wanted to go Jet skiing. Several of our friends did a tour the day before that took 2 hours and they had guides that took them around the entire island on the jet ski’s stopping several times for fresh fruit and to see some of the local sites. I was so ridiculously excited about going. We get to the Jet Ski place and we decided that we were going to share a jet ski (to save money and he was scared to drive it!) . When we arrived at the place, we ran into about 8 other people from the ship (mostly engineers, one guy’s girlfriend, and the facilities manager). We got the guy to give us a break on the price ($206 per jet ski), did the safety briefing and we all picked our jet skis and were ready to go!

After we are all on our ski’s ready to go, we got started – he told us to stay in a straight line with about 50 meters between each of us. Paul and I hung back and waited until everyone took off. All of the sudden (this is 2 minutes after we started) everyone in front of us stopped and I see two people in the water. My first thought was a few people just jumped off – when we got closer to everyone, we saw that a sea and some other pieces had fallen into the water. Turns out, one guy fell off his jet ski and the other one saw him and tried to go the other direction, but the wake/waves caused him to run into the other guy. When we got close enough, the guide (a very scary Tahitian guy) was SCREAMING at our two guys in the water- I mean the F-word all the way…over and over and over and over. I have never in my life seen that much anger in anybody. Mind you, Andy (the guy that got hit) was gritting his teeth he was in so much pain and Tom (the guy who hit him) was trying to help him and had a scared/guilty/terrified look on his face. I finally said to the guide that screaming was not going to fix what just happened and if he didn’t pull this guy out of the water, I was going to. Finally, he helps him out of the water and you can see that Andy’s leg is broken- the bone was sticking out a good 3 inches from his leg.

The guide took Andy to the shore while we sat in the water not knowing what to do. We were silent partially because of fear and the rest because of shock. Eventually the other guide went back to shore to figure out what to do and led us all back to the area that we started. The owner came out and told us it was cancelled and he’d give us our money back. We all walked silently to the hut, got our money back. Andy was sitting there with his legs covered in a towel – you could see his foot was black and blue and it looked like he got scratched up by a cat. Eventually, the ambulance showed up and uncovered his leg – it was cut from his knee all the way down and the bone was sticking out. The poor guy just bit his towel while they wrapped it up and put a temporary splint on it. I had watched it all, no problem – didn’t even flinch.

Once he was loaded in the ambulance and on his way to the doctor (there is only a private doctor on the island – the owner said they would have to fly him to Raitea to get it truly fixed and cast) – I began to feel woozy – my head began to spin, I blacked out and was in a cold sweat and ready to throw up. I knew Paul was standing next to me, but couldn’t see him so I grabbed his arm and had to sit down and drink water until my vision came back. So weird – never had that happen to me before.

Andy ended up back on the tender when Sherwin and I came back. We are in Papeete, Tahiti today and they took him to the hospital before they are going to send him home to Wales later today or tomorrow. As far as Tom, the guy who hit him – he was rubbing his back and said he was in extreme pain – but the Guides ignored him at the place because they were so angry. The infirmary checked him out and they believe he has a broken rib. He was on his way to the hospital to find out for sure what the deal is.

I decided that despite the fact that I didn’t get to do the tour, I still left with one hell-of-a story!

I’m in port manning today, so I won’t be making it off the ship like I said earlier. I’m in the library pretty much all day. The boys are going out tonight because we’re here until 5 a.m., but as of this moment I can’t go. Boo to that :(

BTW…there are so many people on this cruise with the Amazon Kindle. I keep joking with one couple that they are going to donate it in the paperback exchange at the end of the cruise. It is so cool!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Bora Bora Tomorrow!

October 11, 2008

We just arrived in Raiatea, Society Islands. The water is beautiful outside – perfect crystal clear blue-green color. I can’t go ashore because of IPM, but it’s ok. I’ve heard there’s not much here – even the beach is a distance away and it’s extremely expensive. So again, in my favour! (not sure why spell check keeps putting in the damn u’s)

I’ll keep you posted- Bora Bora Tomorrow!

Fun in the Sun!

October 10, 2008

Hola! It’s been a few days (or maybe a bit longer) but we’ve been super busy around here. Today we’re on our last Sea Day (out of 5!) Sea days are brutal for us - working all day every day. I’ve been working my tail off to fit in work outs etc. We are just plain tired! Tomorrow morning we will be in Raiatea, Society Islands of course, I’m in port manning and can’t get off. But hey, the trade off is 2 days in Bora Bora where I’m not IPM! So, I’m accepting it. Other than working really hard, I’ve taken a few pilates classes (when I’ve been able to catch it) and I LOVE it. It works every muscle and I definitely want to stick it out and keep going. I’ve been going in 45 minutes before the class starts and doing cardio and then moving onto the class and I feel FANTASTIC after it.

Anyways, we spent six consecutive days in Hawaii, all of which we’re beautiful weather with the exception of Hilo. But, I was IPM in Hilo – so again, worked out in my favour!

(I’m not sure if I already wrote this in my previous blog – so here we go again!)
Kona, Hawaii – Kona was our first tender port. Again, in tender ports we don’t get too much time out because it’s extremely difficult to find the time to get over there, stay for awhile and allow enough time to come back before going back to work. We went to a sandwich shack of sorts and ordered turkey sandwiches on Hawaiian Sweet bread which is WONDERFUL. It was fresh and they factory was right down the road. We went swimming on the beach for awhile – the water was cold, but a beautiful blue green. The only thing I didn’t enjoy was how rocky the bottom was. We both cut up our feet, but Sherwin got two huge gashes down the back of his heel.

Lahaina, Maui, Hawaiii was beautiful – very “small town” feel, but as always, very touristy. We didn’t have much time to do anything there because it was a tender port which took away over an hour of our time. We ran to the grocery store and grabbed a sandwich (and attempted to buy some diet root beer…but it was $10.00!!!!) and just headed over to the water, sat close to the pier and ate our lunch. It was absolutely gorgeous. One of our sister ships (and hopefully our next ship), the Volendam, was in port with us. All in all, didn’t do too much that day, but just enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine.

Honolulu, Hawaii was our first overnight port. The first day I was IPM, but managed to switch with someone for the night time. About 9 of the bar boys and me, along with one of the bartender’s wife caught cabs and went over to Waikiki Beach at about 10pm and had a BLAST. The boys had some drinks and we took hamburgers and hot dogs from the ship and just went swimming and had a ton of fun. It was nice to be off the ship with no true time constraints (other than when they had to be back for work at 6am.) We stayed until 2 am before catching cabs back to the ship. You’ll see tons of pictures (when I eventually get them posted) from there. There’s a ton of pictures that we took along with other peoples that they passed onto us.

Nawiliwili, Kauai, Hawaii was our last port of call before these 5 hellish sea days! I did a crew tour that they called “Tubing the Ditch.” Basically, we hopped in tubes while wearing our bathing suits, fashionable water shoes (hello...what water shoes are fashionable?!?!), helmets with headlamps and rubber gardening gloves. We went down a long waterway similar to that of the Lazy River...some areas were faster than others. We traveled down through these small rapids and through 5 different tunnels. It was really awesome. I don’t have any pictures of us once we were on the tubes because of the water, but I will post a few of the group and some pictures from a lookout point that we stopped at on the way to the entrance point. We had a great time – I bought a cool t-shirt and had a TON of bug bites to remember the trip by the next day. I guess that’s what I get for being so dam (get it, dam ships!) sweet! It’s nice to go on a tour with crew (even though we have to pay for them) and just get away for a bit from passengers. Between their gassy asses, walkers, scooters and just plain slow moving bodies – it’s nice to remember that we’re still young!

Sherwin couldn’t go on the tour that day with me, he had to work. But him and some of the boys went surfing on the beach – he said the island was beautiful!

Since Nawiliwili was our last port in Hawaii, we did a “traditional” or somewhat traditional “Lei Ceremony.” Basically, we had a huge sailaway party on the back deck and we called up groups (i.e. virgins first, then first-timers to Hawaii, then multiple trip people) and they threw their lei’s into the back pool. Technically, they are supposed to go overboard, but because of Environmental Compliancy Rules, we just utilized the pool. When you throw your lei into the water, it is supposed to mean that you will be back to Hawaii at some point. I ended up playing in the back pool with the On-board physician’s son (he’s 14 months). Some people got some pictures of us playing, so you’ll see those when the pictures get posted.

We did cross the equator again this past week. I had already gone through the King Neptune Ceremony (where first-timers are initiated by getting food thrown all over them.) I’m sure you remember the pictures - I was covered in spaghetti and other food particles. It was tons of fun! Anyways, we had another one of those ceremonies and Sherwin had crossed the equator before, but didn’t go through the ceremony – so I volunteered him to his boss and he submitted his name. So he was officially intiated – again, there will be pictures of that eventually. I was a pirate in the ceremony – so I got to be “mean” and bring the “pollywogs” (newbies) to King Neptune, make them kiss the fish, then bring them to the Doctors and Nurses to get food thrown all over them! All in all – lots of fun and memories!

Last but not lease, Sherwin got a promotion – so he’s really excited. No more 6 a.m. starts to his mornings!

That’s all that is happening here - Just enjoying life and trying to get through the long sea days!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Just another day in Paradise :)


Happy October Everyone! Hope it has started out well for everyone and that this post finds everyone happy and healthy. I made it through the four sea days, which in all actuality were not that bad. The people have been a lot of fun when running activities and I’ve enjoyed their company so far. Getting to know a lot of them always makes the trip a bit more fun. I’m loving not working with the kids and being able to have full days of adult conversation. It’s quite refreshing J If I had time during the day on the sea days; I took a book up to the Lido and just read. It was so wonderful! The air is different – it’s that Caribbean breeze where you can smell the beach and palm trees it in.


We were in Hilo, Hawaii yesterday and I was In Port Manning (IPM – where we have to stay on board to fulfill any emergency function if one were to occur – but instead, we just work all day since we’re stuck on board anyways). It ended up being cloudy and rainy all day, so I wasn’t disappointed that I was stuck on board all day. Last night we sailed past a national park of Volcanoes. I was in the passenger gym working out because we weren’t supposed to pass the big volcano until 10:15 – so I figured I’d take a shower beforehand. The chief officer came into the gym to tell three of us that we were going past a smaller volcano that was erupting! Sure enough, we walked outside and its pitch black dark, but all you see is orange coming out the top and flowing down the sides of the invisible volcano. The smoke reeked of sulfur- but it was so neat to see it erupting! We did see the one erupting when we were in New Guinea in March, but there was no lava – just ash EVERYWHERE!


Today we were in Kona, Hawaii. It was a tender port so we had to take one of the tenders to get to the shore. Once we were there, we went swimming in the ocean, which was beautiful! The water was that beautiful blue/green color. The only downside is that the ground was covered in these massive rocks and they hurt! Sherwin ended up cutting the heel of his foot pretty bad and my feet just hurt from all the rocks and sharp things I stepped on in the water. But, we enjoyed ourselves – it was so nice to get fresh air that was warm and Caribbean like! It really does just feel and taste different.


Tomorrow morning we will be in Lahaina, Hawaii or aka Maui! It’s another tender port, but we’re going to go ashore and at least walk around for a bit. I’ll let you know how that goes. Haven’t taken too many pictures since San Francisco – but I will do my best to post some soon so you can see the few that I have taken!


To give you a taste of these old people on the cruise – here’s a prime example of our daily suffering/daily dose of humor and laughter. While working in the library today, I was sitting at the desk when this older woman – probably early/mid sixties was standing at the desk talking to me. Sure enough, a cloud came over me. Now we’re not talking the boo-hoo depression cloud. We’re talking a true SBD. Now, I’m sure some of you are asking what this is, but the true translation is a Silent But Deadly FART! Oh my gosh – I’m not sure what this woman ate, but if she thinks I wasn’t going to notice – Lord have mercy, I had to hold my breath while she was writing on her little paper on the desk. GAG! Then, if her smelly secretions weren’t enough- in the corridor behind me I hear a very loud noise- it sounds like those doors that have the rubber on them that make the super loud farting noise- the one you joke about when someone opens it saying “excuse you” because you know it isn’t possible that a rip-roaring fart like that is possible. Well, I’ll be damned! The same Gassy creature let one rip in the hallway and just kept going! Holy Guacamole! I was laughing so hard at the desk that people in the Café probably thought I was crazy, because I couldn’t stop!! Anyways, that was my funny story for the day.


I’ll leave you with this:
Passenger: Excuse me, sir?
Sherwin: Yes ma’am, what can I do for you?
Passenger: Do you know if we’re going to see any whales today?
Sherwin: Why ma’am, just look in the pool today – we have one of every kind!
(Ok, so he didn’t say it, but he sure wanted to!)

Just another day in Paradise :)

Happy October Everyone! Hope it has started out well for everyone and that this post finds everyone happy and healthy. I made it through the four sea days, which in all actuality were not that bad. The people have been a lot of fun when running activities and I’ve enjoyed their company so far. Getting to know a lot of them always makes the trip a bit more fun. I’m loving not working with the kids and being able to have full days of adult conversation. It’s quite refreshing J If I had time during the day on the sea days; I took a book up to the Lido and just read. It was so wonderful! The air is different – it’s that Caribbean breeze where you can smell the beach and palm trees it in.

We were in Hilo, Hawaii yesterday and I was In Port Manning (IPM – where we have to stay on board to fulfill any emergency function if one were to occur – but instead, we just work all day since we’re stuck on board anyways). It ended up being cloudy and rainy all day, so I wasn’t disappointed that I was stuck on board all day. Last night we sailed past a national park of Volcanoes. I was in the passenger gym working out because we weren’t supposed to pass the big volcano until 10:15 – so I figured I’d take a shower beforehand. The chief officer came into the gym to tell three of us that we were going past a smaller volcano that was erupting! Sure enough, we walked outside and its pitch black dark, but all you see is orange coming out the top and flowing down the sides of the invisible volcano. The smoke reeked of sulfur- but it was so neat to see it erupting! We did see the one erupting when we were in New Guinea in March, but there was no lava – just ash EVERYWHERE!

Today we were in Kona, Hawaii. It was a tender port so we had to take one of the tenders to get to the shore. Once we were there, we went swimming in the ocean, which was beautiful! The water was that beautiful blue/green color. The only downside is that the ground was covered in these massive rocks and they hurt! Sherwin ended up cutting the heel of his foot pretty bad and my feet just hurt from all the rocks and sharp things I stepped on in the water. But, we enjoyed ourselves – it was so nice to get fresh air that was warm and Caribbean like! It really does just feel and taste different.

Tomorrow morning we will be in Lahaina, Hawaii or aka Maui! It’s another tender port, but we’re going to go ashore and at least walk around for a bit. I’ll let you know how that goes. Haven’t taken too many pictures since San Francisco – but I will do my best to post some soon so you can see the few that I have taken!

To give you a taste of these old people on the cruise – here’s a prime example of our daily suffering/daily dose of humor and laughter. While working in the library today, I was sitting at the desk when this older woman – probably early/mid sixties was standing at the desk talking to me. Sure enough, a cloud came over me. Now we’re not talking the boo-hoo depression cloud. We’re talking a true SBD. Now, I’m sure some of you are asking what this is, but the true translation is a Silent But Deadly FART! Oh my gosh – I’m not sure what this woman ate, but if she thinks I wasn’t going to notice – Lord have mercy, I had to hold my breath while she was writing on her little paper on the desk. GAG! Then, if her smelly secretions weren’t enough- in the corridor behind me I hear a very loud noise- it sounds like those doors that have the rubber on them that make the super loud farting noise- the one you joke about when someone opens it saying “excuse you” because you know it isn’t possible that a rip-roaring fart like that is possible. Well, I’ll be damned! The same Gassy creature let one rip in the hallway and just kept going! Holy Guacamole! I was laughing so hard at the desk that people in the Café probably thought I was crazy, because I couldn’t stop!! Anyways, that was my funny story for the day.

I’ll leave you with this:
Passenger: Excuse me, sir?
Sherwin: Yes ma’am, what can I do for you?
Passenger: Do you know if we’re going to see any whales today?
Sherwin: Why ma’am, just look in the pool today – we have one of every kind!
(Ok, so he didn’t say it, but he sure wanted to!)